Carrie O’Toole is a woman with a mission from above



Carrie O’Toole experienced the pain and suffering of infertility, miscarriage, and an international adoption that went painfully awry. Relinquished: When Love Means Letting Go will take you through the emotional journey and struggle to find answers to the question many people face at some point—what if my love is not enough?

“Carrie O’Toole understands the value of relationships and attachment as well as anybody I know.Not only does she help others using these principles, she has a tremendous story of redemption that gives her the credibility to do so. My prayer is that each of us could experience the process and freedom Carrie went through.  This book will help give you a taste of that process.”

Joshua Straub, Ph.D.Coauthor of God Attachment

Carrie was born and raised in Colorado. She believed if you worked hard, you could achieve your dreams and things would work out.  This attitude allowed her to begin playing the tuba in 5th grade, when that was thought of as a boy instrument!  She earned a B.M. in Music Education from Colorado State University and taught instrumental music for 8 years.  She met Bob at CSU and they married 2 weeks after Carrie graduated in 1986.  Life was good!  But circumstances hit pretty hard for over a decade, and that rosy view started to slip away.  She and Bob have struggled with infertility, miscarriage, clashing personalities and hurtful relationship patterns.  The good times included adopting their now 24-year old son, Brendan, as a newborn, the birth of now 22-year old Katie, and adopting Sam from Vietnam when he was 3 1/2.

Things became rocky as Sam struggled to fit into the O’Toole family.  After 8 years of therapy, special education, surgeries, prayer, doctor visits, hospitalizations, multiple diagnoses (RAD, PTSD, Developmental Delays, etc.),  Bob and Carrie made the heart-wrenching decision to relinquish custody and place Sam into another adoptive family from their church.  This family was falling apart! The ripple effects of estrangement from extended family members, and judgmental attitudes from people they thought would be there for support, almost took this family under.